I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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