Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
