Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
