so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
