She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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