Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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