Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize