Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
