I want to walk on stilts...naked
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
