I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
