oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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