Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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