I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
