I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
