Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
