that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
everyone is single if you try hard enough
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
