hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
