we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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