I seem to have left my pride at pride
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
