***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
