from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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