Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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