You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
