after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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