it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think people are normalizing furries
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
