i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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