hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
