Jerry, you need to find god
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
