I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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