We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
