My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
