I forgot how hot balto sounded
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
