Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
