The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
