Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
