There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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