I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
