you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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