ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
