god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
