Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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