Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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