im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
