I'm going to jail i love you
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
