Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
