in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
