Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
