living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
