im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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