i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
