Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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