fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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