you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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