And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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