How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
