Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
