Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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