Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
