We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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