i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
